My girlfriend and I have a great relationship. We get along really well, enjoy each other’s company, we joke around, we support each other, and we’re really intimate. We love each other pretty deeply. We’re in our early 20s, both academically inclined and both pretty smart. Our interests are a bit different. She’s more extroverted, I’m more introverted. I’m conservative, she’s progressive. I’m a bit awkward with her friends, and she’s intimidated by the things I talk about with mine. Nevertheless, we work pretty well and people think we are pretty cute together.

But like a lot of couples obviously things are a bit different behind closed doors. Early in our relationship she cheated on me with her ex, and I’ve never let her forget that and sometimes use it to guilt her, even though it secretly turns me on. We argue some…I’m more pragmatic, she’s a bit more emotional, but I have a bit of a temper in private and can be mean to her at times and try to gaslight her into feeling stupid, even though she’s wicked smart. Sometimes she manipulates me using sex in turn. Nevertheless, she looks up to me, admires my talents and at times I’ve taken advantage of that to pressure her for sex. She’s a good girlfriend to me, even though sometimes I’m a bit selfish. I subtly guilt her about her weight sometimes, and am a pretty bad texter. We have sex pretty much whenever I push for it, which is pretty often. And when we do I’ll admit I don’t typically last very long so it’s usually pretty quick, but she’s supportive about that and I love the fact that she helps massage my ego after sex. I usually cum and she doesn’t but we both enjoy the intimacy. It’s not that I haven’t spent effort eating her out but she has some hangups about that and seems content with our sex life. My dick isn’t that big either but she says it’s perfect for her. She says she just likes making me feel good and encourages me not to feel any shame. Am I embarrassed that I’m not necessarily rocking her world? Sure. Occasionally we’ll make a good-natured joke about my size or stamina and I let those slide in good fun. Our sex life is intimate, though, and pretty fun in the light of day you’d never know the difference. It also kind of turns me on, both in the dominant direction that she’s so submissive to me sexually even when I’m not that great at it, and in the vulnerability direction that I so easily get overwhelmed by her vagina and such. I’m curious what she thinks about it.

All of this is true, by the way. I don’t say any of this for any fetish-y reason. And I guess save me any lectures…that’s not really what I’m getting at here. I’d like to talk more about my relationship, though, and answer any questions you have. I’m curious for some honest thoughts about my relationship and relationships generally, and to get feedback.

• How typical vs. atypical is our sex life?
• What do you think she honestly thinks of me? What do you think she thinks of me in bed?
• What about our life behind closed doors do you think her friends know but what do you think she’s kept private?
• Do you think her sentiments about just enjoying the intimacy and such are accurate, or is she protecting me?
• Do you think our relationship is healthy? Like, is this some toxic dysfunctional thing, or is it just how a lot of relationships are?
• What do you think our next steps should be in our relationship?

I’d be curious to hear some compare/contrast with your experiences. Have you dated a guy like me? Are you a guy like me? I’d be curious to hear your experiences, and your judgements or thoughts, whatever they are.