If feeling like an outsider is something familiar to you and you want someone to take a step back and join you in that space between you and the world, you clicked the right post. Below, I will try to convey part of who I am and what it seems to me that I am looking for. Nevertheless, I have multitudes within me and so do you, this is hopefully just a starting point.

About me 

Mentally & emotionally: I’m intelligent, analytic, focused, obsessed with efficiency and I have a shiny card that abides for my razor sharp wit. Personally, I’m a brash, argumentative and all said and done bratty personperson. I have a twisted sense of humour and I speak 3 languages (2 of them fluently – 3 if you count sarcasm). Emotionally, I’m a very warm, kind, sensitive and particularly giving person – I have a strong need to give and spoil. Socially, I’m an introvert passing as an extrovert. I feel very quickly drained by people but I still crave intimacy, the problem is finding someone that catches my eye. I’m independent; I deal with things internally and I almost always rely solely on my own guidance.

Physically: Structurally speaking, I am small - 5’4” (or 1.64 in real units) and am not hourglass shaped. I’m on the heavier side I have long, brown hair, black eyes and I am brown.

My interests: Sports, movies, philosophy, and thought inducing questions are all fields I dabble in and have a special kind of love and fascination for. As for hobbies,following my love for sports, I play 3 and watch 4. I enjoy drinking and going clubbing too! I’ve eatxhed the office 13 times and can probably tell you the plot of every episode purely from the cold open

What I am looking for

Mentally & Emotionally: The men I feel attracted to seem to be very few and far between. I want to feel challenged, fascinated and read by you. I want someone who can connect with me on multiple levels; someone who is my intellectual equal (or superior); someone who is emotionally and mentally balanced and can accommodate for this type of connection in his life. I want to learn from you, about everything you care to share with me and I want to be able to have a friendship with you. On the other hand, I enjoy mind games and I enjoy watching others think they succeed in manipulating me – and I don’t mind laughing at myself if they do happen to succeed. However, said mind games cannot be harmful or hurtful, I need to be able to trust you. I am looking for someone who is intelligent enough to see and deconstruct my walls but sensitive enough to not shatter me in the process. I want to be broken open and seen. I want to be stripped down and forced to listen and see things your way.

In other words: you are caring, deceivingly sensitive, well educated and respectful. You have a touch of arrogance and bitterness to how you portray yourself and a vulnerable side you only sometimes show when you trust someone. That bit of bitterness attracts me and makes me want to spoil you. The contrast between our sarcasm laced conversations and our caring moments will make me fall for you every time.

Sexually: I am certainly one for the more sensuous side of things. I’m a sucker for sensuality with a firm touch to it. I enjoy spanking, possession, edging, guided masturbation and orgasm denial. I love being degraded sparingly, and compliments are my biggest turn on. I think of sex as 2 people making love, and my sex drive is high, and it will form a large basis of our conversations I do, have some hard limits: no heavy pain, humiliation, pets, animal, children, blood, urine, feces, electro-shock, anal fisting, etc. I am sure I just ruled out what, to some of you, could be the best things ever. I guess sex is more of a cerebral thing to me, more of a less explicit power play (I quite enjoy role playing as well). Finally, in an ideal world, as much as you enjoy spanking a particularly pert derrière, deep down you love breasts - you love taking care of them.

Physically: The mental and emotional aspects of you will bear the most weight for me. As long as you are in average or better shape physically, the only trait I really care about is height. If you are tall (>6’1”) that would be great.

Some of what you would want from someone like me

I will catch your eye, I promise. You will see me, start to know me and you will want me to say “I’m yours, Sir”. You’re attracted to the radiance that only a naïve person has. The warm glow in my voice speaks to you. My optimism and the fact that I believe that people are ultimately good despite everything gives you hope, even if it may render me hopeless in your eyes. Even if you don’t always show it, you appreciate me being cuddly, warm and kind and you let me spoil you with affection on occasion. You like that I challenge you and that is a mutual turn on. You like how I oscillate between intellectually challenging and appealing but also shy and coy when you ask me to tell you what I am thinking about when you tell me to finger myself. You want to take from me – everything you can. I give, you take and take care of me – that’s the equilibrium I am aiming for.

In between the lines: Wit will get you very far with me. The fastest way to turn me on is to ask me questions that make me think hard. I mostly enjoy conversations with high levels of abstraction but I am also very lighthearted and I am always up to discuss anything with someone who can hold a conversation.

I’ve been told I can be bratty and even though doing what I’m told gets me off I still have an incredibly hard time obeying. I need you to not only want to own my body but also my mind (i.e., good luck with that).

As a last note, I am well aware that I am quite possibly looking for a unicorn. Also, hopefully none of this made me seem like a pretentious douche. Alas, if you resonate with any of this, please message me. If you don’t necessarily mind my lack of experience in BDSM (and you can appreciate a very quick, relentless learner), I would love to hear from you.

If you did, thank you for reading until the end

A few disclaimers:

1. I am in London

2. Some of you think I know myself very well, while others think I don't – that’s perfectly natural. It's hard to draw a line and define limits for something like that and I certainly won’t try to sway you either way. Everyone is blind to their own configuration; I do work toward self-awareness and self-actualization but by no means am I any different. Having said that, please take into account one of the first things in my post: “[I will try to convey part of who I am and] what it seems to me that I am looking for.” I’d love if you could tell me what you think of me and make an assumption to get a reply

3. Another thing that I’ve noticed reading through your posts is that a lot of you are looking for a sub in all senses of the word, so to speak. I like to give and spoil but I am not a submissive person. Like stated above - I am fairly independent. I do, however, want to trust someone to the point where I can let go and be submissive in the bedroom. I am looking to grow and understand myself as a person. I would love to have someone with me in that journey but I will keep working for it even if I can’t find a Dom. If I do, I will submit to you because I want to submit to you and because you earned it. I will not do it because I need to do so. A healthy, balanced relationship is just as important to me as getting off well. If that is a dealbreaker for you, I wish you luck on your search.

4. Preferably, I am looking for an experienced Dom. Alas, I am always open to be persuaded. I am looking for something online first, until a healthy dose of trust is developed and we enjoy each other's company without it being physical.

5. Despite the way this ad reads, I'm not an arrogant person. I’m using arrogance as a tool to be a brat and to be molded

Thank you again for all of your kind responses.