Not even sure why I feel the need to share this, but I went to therapy for gender dysphoria when I was 14 (1994). This was when they required a lot of therapy before hormones or surgery as it was seen as a mental illness. Therapy really didn't help get to the root of my issues. I was severely raped at 11 and 13 years old to the point where I had to be hospitalized for a week and have surgery both times. I felt like being female was the reason people raped me. Therapy said I had gender dysphoria.

It didn't help that my mother had been calling me her "little man" since I was 5, making me do boy things, dressing me like a boy, gave me a boys name, and even registered me as male with the government and school. Yes, I had short hair and everything until about 10 and then I got raped shortly after it grew out. I even had to prove I was female to the nurse at our middle school because my mother had me listed as male and I tried to go into the girls bathroom. Then I got accused of being lesbian, but that's another ball of wax.

So really the entire gender dysphoria thing was set up by my mother from the time I tried to say girl or boy. I looked very androgynous growing up, so much so that teachers when I was in elementary school would tell me, "young man, that's the ladies." I have had more than one teacher force me to go to the boys bathroom...and then apologize red faced when they realized their mistake. My mother's reinforcement of this idea didn't help and the rapes just tipped me over the edge.

When you go to therapy, they really want to believe they can help you. They push you in this direction that hormones and therapy will help make your body match your mind. I had a lovely female therapist that smoothed over all the biological realities and convinced me I would be so much happier when I was a boy. That way I would match what my mind said I was...but in the back of my head it felt like everyone else would feel better so that my body would match what their mind said I was...and I didn't like it. I was going to go on hormones the very next week, when an old coach of mine decided to sit me down. He knew I was active in sports...running. He said, "So you will be joining the Jr. varsity men's team." He cocked an eyebrow and proceeded to ask me what made me think I could. I explained everything my therapist said.

Then he said the word's that pinocchio first heard, "but you won't be a real boy." I was gobsmacked and asked how? He explained in detail how my DNA would remain female, my testosterone would always come from a pill, I would never be able to father or mother children, I would have bone issues growing up and heart issues. He asked me to wait...not give up on being a boy all together just wait. My mom, my therapist, my social worker, all my friends that knew what I was doing...no one else suggested I just wait.

I asked why he was the only one telling me this. He said because I care for you and you have but one body that God gave you...you need to respect it. Then he told me I was a fine athlete with a future if only I didn't get the transition. Honestly, I only ran for two more years, but that was enough for me to wait. By the time I stopped running, I had already moved out and decided my problem wasn't my mind needing to match my body...it was my mother.

I was banned from worldnews for being transphobic. I am the furthest thing from transphobic. I lost a lot of friends from group therapy for gender dysphoria after they transitioned. Not because the surgery was botched, but because they committed suicide. I am not afraid of trans folks, I just don't want them to die.

If you are under 18...just wait. Wait just until your 18th birthday or even the day before. You may find your feelings do change if only because you grow older or realize your problem isn't your mind not matching your body, but everyone else's mind deciding you don't match.