I'm going to be talking about people who transitioned as their second puberty, not people who went on puberty blockers as a minor and transitioned as their first puberty. For AFAB people who transitioned to male as their first puberty, these things don't apply.

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1.) Trans women already completed/finished an entire male puberty, so the voice was finalized in its development and more permanent as a result. AFAB people who go on T for a few years or less, are usually in the middle of their puberty and certainly not complete with it. The vocal changes are not yet finalized. Thats why if AFAB people stop T, their vocal chords will stop it its tracks in terms of puberty vocal development and revert out of being in a puberty. For trans women, there is nothing to revert back because the voice is already done. It's known that puberty/testosterone causes the vocal chords to swell as they grow in mass. When AFAB people stop T, the vocal chords are able to get out of that swollen state, and revert to be thinner, as the vocal chords get out of that state of puberty and go to a more neutral position. I don't beleive that going off T as a grown man who already has a grown man voice, is comparable to going off T as a woman who only was on T for a short while as their second puberty and is mid-puberty.

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2.) If someone has a male puberty as their first puberty, their vocal tract is able to grow to be large. If someone has a male puberty as their second puberty as an adult, vocal tract growth is going to be very limited and minimal because things just as throat/vocal size are mostly pre determined by the first puberty. Trans men usually have much smaller vocal tracts than cis men if they transitioned as an adult, hence why a lot of trans men sound squeaky, young, like they're on helium, sound like spongebob, etc. A lot of trans men and/or detrans women experience throat pain/soreness due to their vocal chords being too thick for their small vocal tract. Trans woman don't experience that because their vocal tract size is made to match the size of their vocal chords. For trans men/detrans women, it's not. This causes soreness and pain to talk in many people, and the soreness can be alleviated by talking in a softer register. The human body will usually default to whatever feels less painful/more comfortable, so if talking in a softer voice feels less painful for AFAB people who took T, then it makes sense that a voice like that would feel more natural and comfortable. I personally experience throat pain because my vocal tract is still very tiny (i don't think it grew in size at all during my transition, or maybe barely), but yet my vocal chords are thick. This leaves little room in the throat and i find that i get less pain if i talk softer.

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3.) Changes of someone's first puberty that they went through as a minor are typically always going to be the more dominant puberty compared to any second puberty they experience as an adult. I don't beleive that trans men who transitioned as adults experience the same vocal chord changes that cis boys who grew into adult men, do. Therefore, since the vocal changes aren't as fundamentally severe as a cis male puberty, I think it's easier for AFAB people to naturally "revert" to talking more like how they used to, and it becomes their new norm/effortless. I think it's similar to someone who gets extreme sun tans everyday for a year, rather than 10 years. The person who suntanned severely everyday for 10 years may not ever get their normal skin tone back, where as the one year person, probably will. Detrans womens' voices are able to revert back slightly, because they didn't even get the full extent of the male puberty like cis men did. For men, there is nothing for the voice to "revert back" to, it is already completely done in its finalization.

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4.) Hypothesis/myth- This is just a guess of mine, but I think there could be a correlation between a lifetime of estrogen exposure and the throat just being more used to talking in a softer way as a result. Whereas a lifetime of testosterone exspoure will likely make more masculine voices feel more natural and comfortable. Once again, humans usually default to whatever feels comfortable. Talking feminine is all AFAB people's vocal chords ever "knew", so talking outside of that can be uncomfortable. I think this follows through even with trans man, since i know many more trans men with softer lighter voices than cis men.

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Don't get mad about me using the term AFAB. one time i used that term and someone got mad in the comments. I only use that term to use one term to summarize the experience of both trans men and detrans women alike in this post, without having to write "detrans women and trans men" over and over.

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Those are just my thoughts and those are the things i usually tell people to help explain to people why voice softening occurs for detrans women! If anyone has any other opinions/observations on why detrans women experience voice softening, but trans women dont typically experience that, feel free to add in your opinion.