As I have said many times before on this sub, the reason I got chronic dysphoria starting at age 13 is because I catfished online as a guy everyday for several hours from ages 13 to 17, and it eventually messed with my brain and made my brain mentally beleive I’m a male. I have been on and off T several times because it’s like I’m addicted, and my brain after all these years still tries to convince me I’m a male even though I know I’m not, logically.

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One of the biggest things that has allowed me to be off T for the past half a year is the desire/dream of being a surrogate because I don’t think my reproductive organs have been damaged enough to not be able to do that, so it’s possible I still could. I jusf want to be a surrogate for the money that’s all, I don’t like kids or anything. I’d do it upwards to 4-5 times or more. I just see a lot of my female friends getting pregnant for free (with no one paying them for it) and it makes me wonder, why am I not utilizing this female body I have to make money in that way? I might as well make use of it, and the biological capabilities I was born with.

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To me, it just feels weird to think that the only thing that is halting my delusion of thinking I’m a man is the fact that I want to use this female body for money because I’m a bit money obsessed. It makes me feel kind of icky and maybe even sexist in a way. Like I think that’s the only thing my female body is good for. But I don’t know how to get out of the thinking that the only good thing about having an estrogen dominant body is to make money off of it somehow.

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The reason I wanna be a surrogate so bad is because my whole life I have felt like my female body was pointless and didn’t provide me anything beneficial that I enjoyed in any way, but if I was a surrogate then I would atleast be making use of the parts I was born with, and it wouldn’t feel so “pointless” then. And- money. Who doesn’t want that?