ive been off hormones for about 5 months now but i still get feelings of wanting to go back on T and i dont know why. i feel like no matter what i do i cannot move on past this. im a grown ass adult, i shouldnt still be stuck on this but my brain doesnt wanna move on. im 22 now. i really didnt think id still be on this gender stuff. its riduclous. i dont know why my brain cant let go. i actually feel like i know the reason. so, when i was 12-13 i started catfihing online as a boy to people full time daily every single day becaue i just wanted to, and thought it was easider to talk to people that way. i feel like me doing that for years and years and years during my developmental years of early teenhood messed up my brain somehow and has now made my brain think that being male is a core center of my identity. theres no other explanation i can think of as to why this is happening to me. my life sucks.

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now that ive been living off T for a while, things are just kinda like how they were before. not the same, because i dont look the same, but similar. basically everything has reverted except my deeper voice and more masculine jaw that i guess is just gonna be with me permanently now. oh well