I've been feeling worse and worse lately, it's like I'm endlessly falling and I can't climb back yet. Dealing with self starvation, self harm and I have trouble keeping my appartment clean like I did before. It just gets worse and worse, and it's now at a point where I can't feel happiness for more than an hour a day. Or even a week sometimes. It's always either sadness, emptiness, anger, or just... Nothing at all. It's hard for me to eat normally so I eat really small meals or nothing. Cooking is almost impossible because of lack of energy. But today, even if I still felt bad, I managed to cook for the first time in weeks! I was starving and beginning to feel sick because of it so I decided to go to the grocery store and try to find something that would not make me sick even more. I found some stuff, not much, but at least I now have some food in the fridge so I guess that's a start. At the grocery store I found some chicken already seasoned, and to force myself to cook it tonight I decided to put it right in my fridge instead of the freezer. So because of that I got my first meal in weeks! I even made some rice and a bit of veggies with it. And on top of that I even did the dishes so the kitchen is cleaner now. I feel a bit better and I'm just really proud of myself. Just wanted to share this because I feel happy about it :)