My 26th birthday is coming up on Sunday but I'm having a terribly difficult time. I've recently found myself in SE financial trouble that has me feeling like there is no way out. All I've been able to think about is how much easier it would be for me and everyone else if I were dead.

For some background, I'm a paraplegic and am coming up on the 10 year anniversary of my accident. This has been really difficult for me and I'm about to lose my father's insurance which I'm terrified about because I have so much going on physically. I need surgery to remove gallstones and I'm afraid I won't be able to afford that or anything else I'm going to need for the services I require. My disability is 571 a month which doesn't even cover rent, groceries or anything else. I am currently trying to get back on food stamps but it's been a long and grueling process. As is everything to do with SSI in my experience.

Then this past year, my cousin was in an accident that left him paralyzed and I want to be there for him but it's very difficult as I'm having to face a lot of emotions that I've just honestly never dealt with in a healthy way.

I was scammed out of about $5000 a few years ago so I am unable to open a bank account. Now I'm in debt again with some payments that had been rejected and I need to come up with the money to pay them back but I don't know how I'll ever do it.

Everything seems so fucking insurmountable and if something doesn't give soon, it's going to be me that gives up.

I'm sorry, I know it's a lot. I just needed to talk, to someone. I've been sick to my stomach all day over this and just can't seem to shake this feeling of empty hopelessness.