I have a rare type of bipolar disorder known as cyclothymia, and in recent years the depression has really started to get bad. I’ve been trying different medications for half a decade now, and nothing ever works for long. I’ve had to drop out of college and I can’t hold a job because of my depression. Sometimes I’ll lay in bed for an entire day not doing anything but not willing to get out of bed and face my life. About 8 months ago now I had weed for the first time. And honestly it helped tremendously. Unfortunately though there’s the problem of legality. Even though CBD is legal where I live THC is not. And honestly even if it were legal that’s only part of my dilemma. I’m worried that I may really only be using weed as another way to escape my life. It feels really good when I’m high, and honestly I’m not sure I’ve been happy without being high for a very long time. But I’m scared, not just of facing legal consequences for using the one thing I’ve found that makes me feel better, but also that the thing that makes me feel better may not really be helping. I don’t really know what I expect anyone to say to this, but I thought I’d just put this out here.