I was diagnosed with MDD and I am taking meds but sometimes I feel as if I'm just faking it. That maybe I'm just lazy or trying to make excuses for my failures. I tell people I can't concentrate at work, that sometimes I just can't make myself do things - but maybe it's just me being so useless and stupid that I'm making excuses. I really don't know. I keep worrying about being a burden. And I keep forcing myself to do things. But even chores can be so difficult. And then I start feeling guilty that I'm not even doing simple things and I keep berating myself and I'm just - so tired.

Last night I even had dreams of countless of people just telling me, "you're lazy." And I woke up just being unable to do anything that I took sick leave.

Is this normal? Is this how depression is? Or is this just me and my crippling low self esteem and/or stupidity. I don't know anymore.