I '31 F' been taking care of my sister's '33 F' son (5M) for the better part of half a decade. His whole life practically I've been there. I've taken care of him when he's sick, I've done his homeschooling, I practically live with him right now. In may is when I'm officially ending but I want to leave now. He's on the spectrum and finally approved for lifetime care with reginal center, for now I'm the one that's doing his homecare while his mother works, step father works full-time too. His mother already knows I'm quitting, and she has someone to step in when I leave.

I'll admit I'm jealous, the person that's coming in to watch him, is going to watch him during his summer break, so they'll have the easy months. I am not ever coming back. I never wanted to have children but I got stuck being the extra parent. I'm exhausted, emotionally and physically, if he wasn't on the spectrum I'd probably stay, but I'm not equipped to give him the proper help he deserves.

It gets lonely being around him during the day, it's just the kid and I, I don't get much social interaction with people. I only have Saturdays off, my love life is non existent. My ex ' 27F' and I started to talk about getting back together but.. she started dating someone shortly after we talked about it. I feel like my life is crumbling around me I just need someone to talk to.

My sister '33F' ( child's mother my best friend) it's hard to talk to her about , because I second guess myself and I down play what I'm feeling.