Sometimes I don't think this life is for me. I always wanted to be a mother with multiple kids but 1 child and single while co-parenting is pure torture. Some people may feel different maybe they have a child and the other parent is absent. But this is how I feel. So bad to the point where I know I need help or I may just snap.

The feeling of Rejection is capable of altering my entire reality to the point where I think of things that I want to do but I love my loved ones too much to abandon them in a way it's impossible to ever see or talk to me again.

Having an emotionally absent father who did not treat me like a daughter, with a mother too insecure or afraid to Stand up for me when he was out of line at times frightens me. I'm afraid I will accidentally repeat patterns. I have gone through so much emotional trauma it's insane. To the point where I'm scratching the skin off my face in hate that this is my life.