I am running into a problem that I’m hoping for some insight into.

I’ve seen therapists on and off for many years. I was unusual as a teen and began therapy then.

But I felt after some time I wasn’t sitting in the presence of someone who could understand my dilemma. Mainly because I’m in the process of working it out. And so how can I really expect the therapist to assist me.

While I recognise that therapy can serve many roles. I’ve always been seeking it out to help me with very specific anxieties that I’ve had trouble confronting. Things around socialising etc. but time and again I’ve found that therapists have sought to box in my idea into their own framework rather than aiming to hear what my issue is. I’m afraid it’s probably me. I can be unclear in verbally explaining myself and get tongue tied. Now to be honest, I feel quite adamant that quitting therapy was the right thing to do. So I am not asking if I should go back to therapy. I might be not right away.

What I am wondering is this. Could my depressive thinking be impacting my ability to express the troubles of my condition in therapy?

And if it is impacting my ability to express my challenges, how can I get help for my condition. By this I simply mean, depression tends to dull everything. I’ve been living in it so long, it’s pervasive. And it’s only when I’m around other people that I can get excited or at least see them get excited. Notice contrast. Not just dull, anxiety, dull.