Since July I all of a sudden had no friends anymore. The friend that gave me that nugget to wake up to this morning I cut off because he bailed on me in the middle of the city for several hours and then blamed me for it (this was just the last straw of things like that for me). Essentially, my friends want the me that wanted to kill themselves at all time, couldn’t read or get out of bed for their little time of me acting overly positive where I just can’t do that as much anymore as I try to work through my stuff. So, I have no friends which makes me depressed and my depression keeps my friends away. It’s not even that I always talk about it, I just feel alone when I’m out sometimes or just don’t have anything to say where I used to talk a lot... and they hate when they say something and I point out it’s not fully true (politics obviously). I’m proud of myself for speaking up and actually establishing boundaries that needed to be established prior, but it’s also killing me. Apologies for the word salad.

Tl;Dr: my friends don’t like I have CPTSD, anxiety, apparently treatment resistant depression (anhedonia life ftw) and I’m working through it bc I’m not their old friend they knew so now I have no friends.