I have three daughters. My oldest is 16 - she has bipolar with schizoaffective disorder. My middle one is 15 - she has bipolar with generalized anxiety, OCD, and ADD. My youngest is 12 and healthy, though she has PTSD scars from dealing with her older sister. When my middle daughter (A) was 9, she was committed to a facility 1,500 miles away from us due to her suicidal ideation - it was horrible for all of us. The thought of this child, who had horrible separation anxiety from me being that far away from me was just an agonizing thought. But we were given no other options. 3 months later, my oldest child (B) was given the same options. We were told the girls would need 9-18 months before they would be back in our homes, which at the time seemed like an awful long time. They've now been gone for 6 years (give or take a few breaks in between). I know now that our family will never be what it was. I am trying to keep some semblance of normalcy for our one healthy child, but A has attacked her twice - in 2008, she strangled her (really, I just walked in before she strangled her unconscious), and just recently, she clubbed her in the ankle, which was significant because our youngest is a competitive swimmer at the Jr. Olympic level. I am so torn right now - I still love A - she is my daughter, after all - but she has such a complex about my youngest - they can't ever be in the same place together again (she's attacked her twice). I just feel so torn as a mother. And I'm so sad for my youngest, who had so many chances at her goals in swimming, and they were all torn apart by my middle child. I just can't get past that.

TLDR: I am stuck in a Sophie's Choice. You have to read it.