i am a 17yr girl ! I don't remember past the age of 8 being able to feel genuine happiness. I dropped out of high school for online school because of mental illness. Because my work was self paced, naturally I became three years behind in school. I'm struggling so hard with motivation right now. The last three years have taught me so much about myself but also nothing. recovering from anorexia was a good choice but i could sustain my condition knowing i was going to die. Now i have a future and have to catch up and everything is so overwhelming. I ask for help a lot i just never get it. I've usually been to myself with not too many friends. I want to do so much and nothing at the same time because I'm paralyzed in my bed staring into a gray sky.