I hate having to live but I’m too scared to kill myself. My life is ruined. My mother makes me regret everyday not taking a chance and killing my self. She makes me regret ever speaking and existing. I hate having to live. I’m so disgusted with myself and worthless. I just want to be gone. I have no options. But I’m to much of a coward to actually do it because I know my life would be so much worse if I lived after I tried. My mother makes me feel so disgusted with myself and I hate living. My life is ruined because of my mom and dad. They never cared about me. So many times I told my mother what I was feeling and how I just wanted to kill myself and of course she just ignored me. All she knows how to do is look at me in disgust. I hate living. I’m so fat and ugly and just so disgusted with myself. There is no way my life can get better it’s so ruined. There’s no point. I just want to be gone.