I'm black out drunk. I wish I could escape my own head like this fucking voice in my head won't go the fuck away and I just want it to stop. I'm so tired of fighting every thought I have, like I have so many toxic dangerous thoughts and I'm constantly fighting with myself to try and stay afloat and I'm just fucking tired. It's not gonna end so I dunno I guess it's just a matter of time before I give up.

I'm alone. My partner, who I love more than anything, Is drifting away, and without them I have literally.nobody. I'm 22m and I'm already such an alcoholic. I smoke weed when I can but it's more expensive and I can only spare so much for.ekther drinks.or.weed so it usually goes to drinks. I try to make new friends and put every ounce of.efflrt into putting myself out there but everyone keeps me at an arms length away. I feel so alienated at this goddamn school and again it's just a matter of time before the loneliness drives.me.tk the train tracks to smear myself across the ground.

I just want to stop having to try. Trying to make money, trying to make friends, trying to keep my grades up, trying to be healthy, trying to be safe, I just don't want to try anymore