I have dealt with severe depression since I was 12, and I’m now 26. I really thought I’d get that figured out by age 22 but of course not. It never fully goes away, and when it comes back it’s hell. I don’t want to do anything, give up on my passions, scared of making little and big mistakes at work, etc. When I make mistakes I berate myself and have a total meltdown and want to hurt myself off and on. I feel like I can’t control my emotions either. Then eventually I’ll become number but still have those breakdowns. I really wish I could get off this fucking horrible ride called my life. This isn’t living. This is getting by because you have to. Also, psych wards are not helpful AT ALL. Then after getting no decent help I get a bill for almost 1k that I’m refusing to pay. I NEEDED help and what did I get?? Fucking color and group therapy! I give up. I’m even on Wellbutrin and it’s not helping even a tiny bit anymore. No anti depressants I’ve tried made me feel better. Not even exercising fully gets rid of it. It’s always waiting for me to experience that one true moment of happiness so it can rob me of it.