In the last half of last year, I was so depressed that I (22) was struggling to perform at my internship. I was unable to socialize properly. I was crippled with anxiety as well so it was A LOT. I could not perform at my internship and no one in my family tried to understand me at all. At home, my parents were overbearing and put a lot of pressure on me, criticizing me almost every day. At work, even though I was trying my best, I was not doing good enough. It was really hard and sometimes I would just CRASH. I was trying so hard to escape so I was spending almost every weekend drinking with friends just to feel a little happy. I was trying to do the therapy work and work through the issues, but because no one wants to listen or help me on the severity of my depression, I live with it undiagnosed and really really struggling. I put aside money for when I can get some help from a therapist.

Anyways, In November I experienced such a deep deep depression that I felt like I was just floating. When I would take naps on weekends I would wake up with such hopelessness. In January/ February I almost started making plans to end it.

When I think about it I think it's very irrelevant. But, genuinely I feel ashamed of where I am at in life.