So I’m 26, I’ve had depression since I was 16 with fluctuating levels of severity. I’ve been to the hospital 5 times since. However, I was doing pretty well with my mental health before covid and I stopped seeing a therapist. And since covid I’ve noticed my mental health slowly deteriorating…I think.

I say I think because over years it’s been hard to tell whether it’s a depressed mood or just me being lazy/apathetic.

Do normal people cut contact with others in their life and suddenly delete all social media? I just have no interest to be in other’s lives.

I had good self esteem before but since isolating I’ve gotten a lot of social anxiety which feels childish to have social anxiety. I can’t even answer phone calls anymore.

Not to mention the weight gain, which I allow to impact my self image by a ton. (Pun not intended).

I don’t know, I was doing so well a couple years ago and now it feels like I slide back down the stairs after all the steps I made to better myself.

I don’t think I could kill myself, I’ve tried several times in the past but it requires so much energy and determination, it almost feels easier to deteriorate away.

I guess I am currently depressed. It just doesn’t feel as crushing as before. I’m still able to work and do school, and still smile and make jokes at work. It doesn’t feel as severe but there’s still an air of hopelessness that hangs over me on a daily basis these days and I’d much rather not have to suffer anymore.

So based off this reading(and I know, this isn’t professional help) but should I try getting professional help again?