I’ve been working out and getting into better shape. Been taking care of myself and have friends who love and care for me. I’ve been trying to get into better shape for ages, and now that I’m finally achieving it, every night I’ve been having negative and traumatic thoughts from the past and been crying non stop. I’ve been an emotional wreck and been ignoring the duties that have been bestowed upon me due to my situation of being in a lower class immigrant with parents not to well knowledges about technology and stuff. I know I have a lot of responsibilities, but these demons that I’ve been dealing with, and also on top of that this one addiction that I have coming back into my life, with deadly force, an addiction that I’ve been fighting for years and have my moments of victory before falling back into when times get hard. The craving is surprisingly coming back stronger than ever, ever since I’ve been trying to better myself and become healthy for myself and the people around me. I don’t know if I’m making sense. It’s just been really difficult and my mind is scattered all over the place. I just wanna be happy with myself, but it’s been getting hard to do so. Even when I’m taking care of myself I still have breakdowns when I’m by myself alone. Can anyone relate? Please any feedback helps.

I’m 22 btw. Thank you for reading, if you still are.