Hey sorry I've been posting g so much lately, but man I don't know what to do. I feel like I just keep sliding deeper into this depression spiral and I'm not sure how to get out. I just constantly think about being dead and how it's inevitable. I'm not really thinking of killing myself, but I'd be lying if it hasn't crossed my mind lately. I've tried to get help at university, but every time I try to go for mental health drop ins they are all booked up and it makes me feel shittier. The last month I've either been to anxious to talk to people or to depressed to do anything. It just seems like a viscious cycle and I just want it to stop. I think I may need to try antidepressants again even though they haven't helped yet and fuck with my stomach a lot and I already have stomach issues. Everything just seems to be a mess right now and I don't know how much longer I can last like this. My dream is to get a disease so I have an excuse to just wither away and die. I know it's fucked up, but I'm sure some of you can relate. Anyways any advice or ideas on how to fix this? Thanks in advance.