Very frustrated right now because I don't belong anywhere and can't express myself fully.

I tried to find social change groups near me that have interests similar to mine. No luck, the (local) group I found was very much divided and they don't share my religious beliefs, which are very important to me. Without a spiritual foundation, that group is doomed to fall apart without achieving any real impact.

I'm just stuck in this g-dforsaken country with no support at all.

My post got "temporarily deleted" from an (international) online group that was otherwise helpful so far. I feel betrayed and a little censored.

Yes, some people understand a bit. Some validate some of my views. But very few, and none in my area in real life.

We're all just strangers who can relate a little, and then it's over. Nothing's changed.

I feel hopeless... I'm not allowed to kms either because I had to promise some friends that I won't. But they are also online, very long distance friends who can't help me irl. They're wonderful people, but they're busy most of the time, and I really need someone to talk to in between.

I'm NOT going to kill myself, I just really wish dying were an option now...

UPDATE:

I got a friend request from the local social group, but it turned out to be a boy who just wanted to flirt with me. Got my hopes up for a while there, and now I feel much worse. I don't have the time and energy for that. And if he turns out to be a big creep, I'll be in real trouble.