My girlfriend enjoys traveling at least once every month or two, sometimes I’m able to go but not all the time not because of work and we have a dog. She usually just goes back to her home state to see her family. We’ve been together for 4 years, and she had a 5 year old son at the time we started dating. He’s my son too though, his biological is out of the picture on his own choice. But anyways, I’ve struggled with depression and anxiety as far back as I can possibly remember, but it’s mostly a wave of symptoms instead of steady every day. But when she leaves like this it gets especially bad, I can’t even get out of bed. I’ve been sleep or laying in bed since Friday, and haven’t eaten anything except one cup of noodles this whole time and Im 6’2” 175. I always have this plan in my head “oh i’m going to take this time and just have some me time, go on a short trip somewhere, create something and just take advantage of the time alone.” It just never works out that way tho. I just get so damn sad (usually to the point of crying a lot) and feel completely worthless. I’m also a recovering heroin addict. It’s been over 2 years now, but I can’t stop thinking it would make everything better, or at least just ease the depression, and this happens every time she leaves. It’s hard to stay sober when i’m extra depressed and drugs were my comfort for so long. So now I have to deal with talking myself out of that behavior, which usually just involves me forcing myself back to sleep. Anyways, i don’t know the point I was trying to make, just needed to share some thoughts. Thanks.