Everyone around me is happy. I made a life choice to try and bring some happiness to those I love around me and now I’m a big depressed mess. Every time I go to talk to someone about what I’m feeling the conversation starts with how happy they are to be in a better place and thanks me for being apart of that. Knowing what they have been through and yes doing all I could to make sure they get to a better place, how can I ruin that? How can I tell them that their happiness came at a cost and every day I sit here sucking down all the crappy feelings. I know they would want to help me but it’s not easy to ask for knowing it will effect them in negative ways.