My parents got divorced when I was pretty young. I stopped seeing my Father often around 7 or 8th grade. He would pop in every now and see how I'm doing. His girlfriend disliked me as maybe I was rude to her in some type of way, but I don't really remember what I did wrong. So I decided to just stay away. I love my father, he got me into some hobbies like Baseball, Skiing, Snowboarding, Basketball, etc. He was a bit harsh on me at times but I guess that's with any dad.

I was dealing with depression from high school until now (I'm about to be 24). His girlfriend even texted me through my dads phone "Hey! Since you have mental problems go back to the mental!!! Crazy Stupid Idiot!!! Greedy sucker!!!". I must've done something really messed up. I know I wasn't the greatest kid, I wasn't nice to my grandma even at times and she always so nice to me. I was going through old texts between me and my dad and I just see a bunch of excuses for me not going to visit my grandma with my dad. My grandma then moved away and passed and I regret not visiting her more.

I could see why my dad isn't happy with me. I do not make efforts to reconnect with him. I don't really have any passion, I don't really have many friends, I'm recently unemployed from only working a part-time job. I live with my mom, and I barely even could find a reason to leave the house anymore. I'm a loser. Father's day is always so hard for me now because I feel guilty for not contacting him. He wants me to apologize for his girlfriend and 'be an adult' which I suppose I should. But, in reality, I am depressed and I don't want to reconnect with him when I have nothing going on for me. I am a nervous wreck and I just don't want to be here anymore.