I just want help. I’ve never been diagnosed with anything so idk. I wouldn’t call it a problem but I relied on drugs a lot but I stopped. I don’t want to die I just want to hurt myself so badly I go to the hospital or bleed out & become a vegetable. I don’t want to feel like this. I feel so bad. I just want to be high or brain dead or hurt myself. I want to hurt myself so much but I don’t and I haven’t in a long time because my parents will be disappointed in me. My parents said they would take me to a therapist but my mom says she thinks it’s a hormone issue so she’ll take me to a gynecologist to see if birth control helps but I don’t even want to do that anymore. I want to go to a psychiatrist & be so fucking medicated that I’m a walking zombie and I don’t have to feel like this anymore. Like when I’m having fun I have so much fun but every night when I can’t sleep and I’m alone I feel like I’m dying and I don’t know what to do. The only thing I can think of to do is hurt myself. I really wish I had some weed or something. It’s so hard to talk to my family about this. The only thing I can physically tell them is that I feel really bad. Idk what to do