I am struggling quite a bit at the moment and me and my parents relationship has been falling apart because of it. I don't really talk to anyone about how I'm feeling as I'm always trying to help them. I have tried speaking to the health service but they don't care. They keep saying we will call you back and never do or postpone phone appointments. I don't work at school even though my exams/teacher assesed grades are right arrond the corner it just seems like my planned future is too far fetched. I keep fighting with my parents about my lack of work and my substance use. They don't let me see my friends after school anymore as I have come back drunk a few times. I don't know if I am choosing to fight with them deliberately so they end up hating me and stop caring so I can kill myself without anyone caring. The doctors say antidepressants are out of the question until I get sober but I won't be able to without their help. I am really just typing this just so I can get my situation straight in my head and maybe get some advice idk. Hope u r all doing good