I feel like I’m constantly drowning and all I want is for someone to save me, but even when people try nothing helps. I’ve had my life stolen from me and dismantled a few to many times for me to handle. First I went to prison for a crime I didn’t commit and I lost my dream job. My girl. My friends. But then through all that I found purpose. I’ve always just wanted to help people. So I started a company dedicated to helping people. My life’s work. That was then stolen from me and turned into a cash grab. So many people are constantly counting on me. Everyday I’ve gotta talk someone down from suicide or at-least bare the thought of the fact that they’re facing it. And I promise so wouldn’t let any more people die. I just can’t be enough. It feels like a holding the weight of the world and everyday it’s killing me but I can’t stop because if I’m not there doing what I do then people die. When half your school tells you that you’re the reasons they’re alive and that they need you... it gets to be too much. Now I have mental break downs everyday just trying to stay afloat and I can’t do it anymore. I’m only 18 and I’ve experienced things people should never experience. I’ve seen to many friends die. I don’t know what to do. I’m terrified that I’ll find myself holding a gun to my head again and nobody will be here to save me this time . I stare at the bottle of pills that give me relief and I just think about how if I were to take one extra I wouldn’t be sad anymore. I would be somewhere cloudy and nice. I just can’t anymore.