I stayed up til 4am to finally reply to a friend whom I had ghosted for over 5 months. I didn't forget to reply. I was just so unmotivated and unhappy with my life that I put off answering my messages to people for months. Then, when I finally was somewhat okay again, I felt too guilty and afraid to explain why I had ghosted them for that long, so I put it off for even more months.

But today I gathered up the energy, apologized, and finally explained to this person that my mental health is shit. There are so few people irl who know that I've ever struggled with mental health, and I kind of dread seeing what reply I will get. I'm not sure how to react if I ever see them in real life again.