I've been depressed since at least around 10, probably 9. Had anxiety/ocd all my life. I have no idea what my interests are or what my sexuality or gender are or what i want to do for a living. I dont really have friends. Ive been to 7 therapists because i just dont feel like anyone understands me, and the last one just flat out ghosted me. I just started my 5th antidepressant. I cut for the first time in 4.5 years recently, and im just not sure what im supposed to be doing now other than just school and waiting for things to change. My mom just told me she dreads coming home to me and feels sick when I open my mouth bc of how depressed/negative i am, but she also says im making myself depressed. I need to move out but I'm too scared to make my mom mad so I just sit here and i cant really do much to even find my identity bc of covid.