This might be long, maybe not. I have suffered from depression for a long time. Come from a broken home. Mom and dad did not separate till I moved out, due to the fact it got to the point where my father and I become so physically violent with each other. On top of it, I was coming in terms that I was attracted to men. I was just not beat on all the time, I also was mentally abused. To a point where I have become nothing now in life. I am a cashier at a convience store. The last job I had was for 13 years in retail. Which just used me and was terminated because of someone who did not want to deal with me. After 13 years of working my ass off and hurting myself from the hard work I did. One of those time I ripped a hole in my groin. Had a major hernia surgery. Since then I have had sexual issues, being not being able to ejaculate. Nothing comes out. And the feeling has slowly dissipated. I can barely make it. I have no car , I have no friends. My mom passed 4 years ago, 3 months before that my best friend died. I feel worthless. I feel sick all the time due to this damn corona shit. Which I believe I got it before it become nationwide. I always feel as I wish I was dead. All of the time.