Life is too much. Really. I could never killed myself bc I'm too much of a coward to indulge me any kind of harm, but those days I just don't know what to do.

I'm always waking with the urge to die, I cry myself to sleep, when I wake up I cry as well it just doesn't seem to stop. I'm 20 and I feel that I'm stuck in a 16yo mentality. I'm in some studies that are really demanding and I'm just wasting time bc I'm too much of a failure to succeed anything. My few friends are moving forward, are happy whereas I'm stuck and never been in a relationship. I don't have any motivation, or goal my life seems dull and just not worth it. I don't know if I have like i dunno any kind of pathology, should I go see a doctor or smth like that ? Or am I just moping on my pathetic life like a child ?