In the 28 years of life that i have lived, i have been through hell after hell. Now, dont get me wrong, there are probably millions of people that have it worse off than i do. Its just that after constantly being crushed down, manipulated, abused, and more recently having your only kid taken away for no reason.

I have had depression for the majority of my life. Being put on drugs as a kid, beaten when out of line, bullied in every single school i went to and there were quite a few because my parents moved around alot growing up so never really had a set school. Never had my first relationship till 21 which lasted for a year and a half. She broke up with me after beating me in a hotel room, and when i went to cops with pics, texts, evidence out the arse, etc., they too laughed at me because im a man. 2nd relationship i was cheated on for the entirety of the 8 months with her "best friend". The last one i had was just over a year. Lived together before we started dating, ended up feeling she was the one and proposed (never really liked marriage but for her i wanted it) she then got pregnant with my only child and has, since 2nd month of pregnancy, made my life miserable and broke me in ways i cant even explain (really, really long story of manipulation, heart break, and trauma).

Including all of my family life, personal life, relationship life, i have never been the one for revenge, or wishing death upon anyone. Ive always been the "give you the shirt off my back" kind of person, even if i dont know you. I always treated everyone (family, friends, lovers, strangers) with my utmost respect and always did everything i could in between to have a good life and be happy but its gotten to a point now where everything around me has crumbled down and i have a pain and emptiness inside of me i have never had before. I honestly feel so lost and feel my life is slipping away and nothing i do or try to do is pulling it back.

If you read this novel of a "life story" i wrote, i really do appreciate it, and any advice or "tips" i can get to shine some light on this never ending darkness would be very helpful. Again, thank you so much for taking the time, i know it was alot <3