I hate waking up. I don't sleep well anyways. Takes me at least an hour to fall asleep, and then I wake up after 3-4 hours sleep, usually can't fall back asleep either. So far this week I've probably got 12 hours sleep or less. I hate waking up, being asleep is the only respite I get from being me, from feeling like shit (both physically & mentally), from hating myself & from thinking about killing myself & how long it's going to be until I can do so. It's currently 5:27am, & I won't get back to bed until at least 9pm tonight.

It's going to be another long, shitty day.

Now I've got to drag myself to work for 8 hours. My coworker is going to talk to me excessively throughout the day, even though all I want to do is curl up in a ball & shut the world out. The lass I like at work is going to keep being funny with me, because that situations fucked up (thanks mental health issues).....but we're "friends" aren't we? What a joke.

It's going to be another long, shitty, long day.