Externally, it seems that everything is fine with my life. I have a good well-paid job and my own place, and I go out sometimes as well.

Yet I really suck at maintaining social relationships. It feels like all of my interactions with people, even the ones supposedly close to me, are extremely superficial. I talk to people mostly out of obligation because socializing barely brings me any pleasure, not at least because I don't have anything shared in common with them which I truly enjoy.

Speaking of enjoyment, I think that I've actually lost the ability to enjoy things. Nothing brings me pleasure anymore. I mean, literally nothing. I regulate my mood by binging on social media like Reddit and Twitter; however, this gives me only a short-term boost. So every few days I get into a depressive cycle which makes me feel like shit. Nowadays it's become even worse because I'm currently off work, so I've stopped going out at all (I pretty much only go to the store and then I'm back home).

I wonder if there's any kind of solution for this vicious cycle. I think that I'm wasting my life doing bullshit when I could at least have been doing some meaningful work while I'm on holidays (like volunteering, etc). Simply said, I feel extremely guilty of not doing anything and wasting my days off away but I don't have to drive to actually do something.