Hello people, I’ve been depressed since 2016 (approx). dealing with this and trying to fix it by just ignoring it did work but Overthinking and other problems made me realize that I needed help to overcome it. I went to a clinic that helps in a general way and they serve counseling and help for depression and mental illness. I never thought that I did have depression because i really hate people who diagnosed with it themselves. In the first test that she gave me, she asked a lot of stuff and she was writhing down some stuff, asked about suicide attempts, if I wanted to kill someone in the last month, stuff like that. I have never tried to kill myself and neither think of killing someone. Since I’m now 18, she gave me the report and it said “major depressive disorder” I was impressed because as I said, I never thought that it was really that bad and someone that I know said that after that, there’s only one “tier” which is referred for people that tried/wants to kill himself. She started a bi weekly therapy which I tried to follow as much as I could do. Then, about the third week, we discussed a schedule to distract myself instead of having negative thoughts. I failed to follow this schedule and commented it to the therapist. She asked why I wasn’t able to follow it and I didn’t say anything, when I was about to say that it was due to work. She stopped me and told me “if you’re not going to do your part, then don’t come back here again” I didn’t say anything and waited for the time to go out. I haven’t come back to that place because of what she said. It did had a big impact but at least I just didn’t cared and tried to fix myself again. But I think that if she said that to someone else, the reception could be worse, instead of having positive thoughts afterwards, you got this straight up negative thought that it keeps me thinking to this day.

So, I’m wondering:

How can I actually get help if I get treated this way?

Would the situation be a lot better/different if I’d say that I have suicidal thoughts?

Can someone that is supposedly giving advice and counseling people just say that?

What was she expecting me to do after?