Just some crap that has happened to me in 2019 that I desperately need to vent about:

I was in a really bad car accident in January that should have killed me and I walked away from it

My 4 year relationship ended in march

And just when I think things are going to be ok my gynecologist finds cancer in my cervix about a week ago.

I have struggled so hard to keep my head up. I really have tried and life seems to want to keep me down. Here I am at 3am crying because the numbness has finally given way. I'm 33 years old, have struggled with myself and my depression since I was 15. I was heavily medicated then chose to try and deal with my issues while not being medicated about 4 years ago. I thought that I had it handled. I was so so so wrong... I feel that I've finally reached my breaking point. I can't overcome this. Eventually it's going to absolutely consume me and I'm terrified.