Okay guys this is going to be a long one, but I have no one to talk to anymore that really understands.

Hello my name is Chris and we will keep it at that. I was born November 15th, 1996. My father and mother were still in high school when they had me which led to many issues. My dad was highly abusive and my mother was a liar which led to more problems than not. When I was younger there was always fighting between the two. Back and forth back and forth. There would be numerous nights that would end with either my mother or my father storming out and not returning for days at a time.

While my dad was away on his drinking binges or whatever the hell he was doing rather than taking care of us, me and my sister were being tormented in other ways. My real mother was deranged in the head and began to start taking nude photos to give to other guys with me and my sister in the background of said photos. (I found out this when I was a little older). The one thing I will never forget though is being raped constantly. My mother Everytime my father was away would touch me and my sister. There was even a time when I was younger where my mom smashed me in the head with a baseball bat and left me for dead. The only reason I survived was for my grandmother who happened to stop by and check on us and found me bleeding on the ground. After that it was a constant battle between my dad my grandma and my mom.

Shit hit the fan when one day my dad pushed my mom, my mom being the hypochondriac she was locked herself in the bathroom and beat herself bloody. She then called the cops. My dad was arrested for domestic abusive and me and my sister were sent to live in foster care.

Flash forward a year or two I don’t really remember because I was so young at the time I remember my grandma pulling up to pick me up from my foster parents. My foster parents were pretty kind to me and they were a nice black family and treated me like their son even though I was white. Anyways when my grandma pulled up I remember thinking that my life was saved that everything was going to be ok. After a day or two we went to pick up my sister from her family. Yes they separated us for some reason. I thought I would never have to see my mother again or face the bullshit she put me and my family thru. However this was not the case.

My mother had forced visitations thru court and it was hell. Every weekend we were forced to eat breakfast with the monster that raped us day in and day out. It was bullshit and we had to deal with this until we were old enough to tell the courts that we no longer wanted visitations. During this time period my dad was locked up in jail and my grandmother had custody. At the time we were fed and washed daily. Had fresh clothes daily and our house was never a mess because my grandma was brought up strictly Italian and there was no room for bullshit with her.

Another flash forward to 4th grade, my grandma still has custody however now with my dad out of jail he wants to fight for the right for his kids whatever ok by me. So he gets married to this fat fucking whale piece of shit by the name of HEATHER. See at the time this was no problem because the psychotic bitch convinced everyone and the world that she was the perfect fit. The perfect stepmother. The caring and compassionate person we needed to help rebuild our family. Boy were we wrong.

Now I am 21 years old I am suffering from immense depression and I think about suicide everyday. Heather constantly belittles my dad calling him a loser and a piece of shit, despite the fact that my dad works all day with no white blood cells and with diabetes, while she hasn’t had a job or really left the couch in 13 years. She constantly searches my room and snitches on what I have included weed, bongs , condoms etc and tells on me to my dad(yes really) and I get threatened to be thrown out. My depression started hitting harder about 4 months ago when I lost my job because they were calling me names and constantly putting me down for not being able to do things for them. It hit even harder when I found texts between heather and my dad talking about how they can’t wait to get high and calling my girlfriend a nigger. There were also texts from heather describing exactly what I was wearing and had with me. It’s getting to the point where I can’t be at home anymore with my dad or heather because he allows her to act like this.

On top of all this heather and my dad had a kid. When we were being raised there were no games there was no swearing there was respect between us and our grandmother and father. However he can tell my dad to shut the fuck up and get out of his room and is still treated like a king. My car broke down last week and I needed 200$ for a repair and was told no, where as Tyler’s gaming computer breaks last week and my dad asks if he can buy mine off of me. Right now I am unemployed and in debt thousands of dollars and all I can think of is just killing myself. I’ve tried therapy I’ve tried medical marijuana I’ve tried talking to my girlfriend and telling her everything and all it has resulted in is being told this is my fault and I need to grow up and forget about the past. How can I forget about being abused and constantly raped? How can I be normal. I really don’t give a damn if anyone even replies or reads this I’m just sitting in my room with all intents to kill myself tonight I’m tired of no one being there for me.