I'll spare the whole story but my girlfriend of two years broke up with me the day after Christmas for mistakes I didn't even realize I was making. I know I made mistakes, I know I could have done things better. We had a difficult path and I knew that, she lives two hours away and would often (every two weeks for a week) come to stay with me so we could spend time together. I'll spare a lot of the story but that was our life.

For the first time in my life I was truly happy and my grey rain clouds had a little bit of sunshine break through. She was the first person I ever truly felt like I wanted to spend my life with. Maybe I was ignorant but I didn't even know anything was wrong until I noticed her getting more distant at which points she listed all my mistakes to me all at once.

I've been in a really rough place since we broke up, I've tried to hide it from friends and such. I took a bunch of work assignments out of state to get away from all our memories I constantly come face to face with. I wish I had one more real and true chance to tell her how much she means... meant... to me.

I need to meet with her one more time to trade some belongings we both have of each other but I've been avoiding it at all costs because I don't think I can do it.

I don't even really know what to say here, I just feel myself sinking slowly back into the hole she helped me crawl out of. It's been four weeks and I'm completely broken.