I need to take control. I’ve been ill since I was 11. I’m 22 now. I can’t keep living hating myself and continuing with these unhealthy habits (eating fast food two to three times a day, smoking, drinking way too much, etc.). It’s affecting both my personal and professional life.

I’ve tried emailing 6 therapists now and have gotten no response from any of them. This is demoralizing me to the point that I want to give up on my search for a healthier mind. But I know that is no longer an option. I’ve tried suicide three times and each one failed, and each one has showed me that deep down I don’t want to die yet.

I need to call someone to get something scheduled. But this sounds so difficult. It shouldn’t be. I call people daily at my job with no issues. But some mental roadblock is there, preventing me from doing so.

Has anyone dealt with this in the past? How did you overcome it?