I'm in the middle of what feels like a pretty severe episode of depression. I'm kind of lost and scared right now.

Seeking help is always made to sound so simple and obvious, but in practice:

• you risk worrying or upsetting people you care about
• or driving them away or causing frustration if it's just too much for them
• appearing (or worrying about appearing) weak and inadequate, which can affect people's perceptions of you no matter how good their intentions are; and perceptions can and do have real effects on relationships and the way people behave towards you (not to mention your own self-esteem)
• associating your identity with your problems, when really you want to be yourself and not have these problems define you
• being a burden and effectively demanding other people take on some responsibility for your wellbeing when they no doubt have problems of their own
• and you might end up either understating your problems (for a variety of the above reasons), and risk people not understanding the true extent of your difficulties - or really emphasise them and feel like you're being (perceived as) overly dramatic and attention-seeking, which can also be counter-productive...

Sometimes simply an (unspoken) sense of understanding, solidarity and affection can be one of the most valuable things in times like this. Even the smallest gestures, like having a shoulder to lean on when you don't want to be alone (but don't feel like talking things through either), and a sense of humour (rather than seriousness and concern) can be so incredibly valuable when you're trying so hard to get by. I just wish it was easier to reach that point while avoiding the pitfalls above.

I'd love to hear some of your thoughts and (hopefully) success stories in this regard.

Thanks.