I've been dealing with bouts of depression on and off for a few years now and recently, it's just been getting worse. I was finally diagnosed with depression about a month ago at a clinic after trying to muster up the courage to find help. It was a relief to find a place where someone was actually there for me and comforted me and made me feel like I mattered. I want to get better and I still do, but I feel like it's been slowly consuming me.

I've recently got into two car accidents which made me feel slightly anxious being on the roads and made me wonder why I didn't just die. One fucking accident wasn't enough, huh? Why didn't you just take me after the second? Then, just last night, I woke up with the most unbearable pain in my head and terrible nausea. I wanted to die then and there because the pain was so great. I had no one to call or text or go to. Do you have any idea how it feels like when you're helpless and hurting and there is no one there? You just want to die and get over it? I just cried all night after taking two Tylenol and thankfully passed out.

This morning I just felt so numb. So angry. And just defeated. I want to give up. What's the point if all this is happening to me? I'm just a walking accident waiting to happen and now I'm so paranoid about what can possibly happen next. I just feel so alone. No one cares. No one understands. And fuck everyone for saying that they do. I'm sorry...I'm just angry....

Thank you for reading.