I think today I'm just feeling depressed because of hormones. So it will probably be better tomorrow, or at least the day after that. It just has me worried because I haven't felt this bad in a month or so. I just feel like I've been really bad at my job lately and a pretty crappy girlfriend and I don't want to do anything. Really felt like calling in sick today, but I didn't.

On the plus side, I might have lost weight.

I'm also trying to figure out how I was so blind to the hate in the world when I was younger. I wonder if it's better for me to try to remove myself from seeing it again. Hate is just so prevalent everywhere. Hate and selfishness and greed and exclusion, and carelessness. On the other side of that, I did read an article about a church that housed undocumented immigrants who had gotten notices from ICE, especially ones with families, and that made me happy that that church exists. I have become atheist over the last six years and it was just good to see that the church does do some good for some people, since the churches near where I live don't do anything more than give a couple of canned food items to wheeler mission.

I want to get out of the area I live in. I want a blank slate. I'd love to just wander in some warmer woods or jungle for a bit.