I don't know what happened to me, that smiley boy, the one who is always making everyone happy, the one who is always happy... Is now depressed, anxious, doesn't know where to go!

I just want to be by myself, I don't want to talk to anyone, I don't want to work out, I don't want anything. Nothing interests me, nothing makes me happy.

I have to take my happiness when I'm with friends, it's so hard to smile. I don't know why this is happening to me, it came out of nowhere. I feel like im under a dark cloud, the world is not the same anymore. Family and friends don't seem real, they are not the same people. How did this happen to me? Why me?

It's crazy to think about depression, now I know what that feels like. Now I can see why someone would want to kill themselves, nothing else matters, you don't feel emotions, you are just an object in space. I hope I don't have any suicidal thoughts, and I hope that no one else has it! Depression is not going to win!! We got this! Let's all remember , what it felt like when we were happy, when we were connecting, when we were alive! we will get back up!

I'm on lexapron, first couple of days. I hope it gets better, I really do.