The past few months have been a challenge i didn't think i would have to go through yet. I lost my father shortly before Christmas very suddenly and unexpectedly. My mother passed away in 2010 when i was 19. I get upset thinking about the fact that neither will get to see how i turn out in life. A week after my father died i received a full time job offer with a company working in the industry i want. So i'm now juggling that and school full time and its just harder than i thought it would be.

I have a girlfriend who has been with me through all this and i'm so grateful for her but she has to deal with her own issues with depression and anxiety and i feel bad laying my shit on her. Most days when i get off work shes in class so i just sit here on my computer browsing the same shit on Reddit and listening to the same songs on YouTube. Before my father dying i was doing alright i was on medication and improving but i just feel like i'v taken a huge step back. When i'm at work i'm stressing about trying to learn everything that by the time i get home i just shut down.

I just go from feeling stressed to angry to depressed and right back and i know i should go see someone but then part of me thinks it wont help. I just needed to rant somewhere and get this out i appreciate if you've read this whole disjointed thing.