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A year ago today I was in a psychiatric hospital after attempting to kill myself. Life was pointless, and my existence was painful. I hated who I was, and who I would eventually become if I didn't kill myself. Well, there I was, stuck in a hospital against my will. I went along with everything, got out, and things improved for a little while, then became bad again. This happened a few times, and somehow each time I managed to survive.
Now it's a year from the time I was in the hospital. (which was actually the second hospital stay for me) This past week I was flown out to California to interview with a company there and today I was offered a job with them for about $70,000/year compensation... and I haven't even graduated high school yet. I'm also being considered for $100,000 of funding to work on a project of mine focused on mental health. I have a scholarship to university should I chose to go.
Basically, a year ago my life was meaningless. I wasn't doing anything amazing, I spent most of my time wanting to die. I used to physically harm myself to feel something at all.
A year later, my life is completely different. It's full of meaning. I'm in a very good position to help make things that will change many peoples' lives. Life is full of so many positive emotions now, excitement, hope, and a sense of achievement. Now I don't even consider self-harm as an option anymore, and suicide is something that almost never even crosses my mind.
I guess my point is, don't think things can't change. I thought that, and I was so fucking wrong I still can't really believe it. If I had died a year ago I would have missed out on so much, very literally things I couldn't have begun to imagine last March.
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- 9 years ago
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