My life is spiraling out of control. Probably not in reality, but it sure as hell feels that way. I've been distancing myself from everyone I know because it feels like everyone will get caught in the splash damage if I keep anyone close.

I feel this intense uneasiness creeping into everything I do. Nothing is certain, nothing is stable and part of me just wants to die before everything gets worse. I am not suicidal, but I just feel like if I was gone this would be easier to deal with.

I am sorry for who I am. I am sorry for never ever being able to live up to the expectations that are set on me. I've made stupid mistakes, I make careless mistakes. I make a lot of mistakes. I'm so freaking anxious all the time. I can't hide how I feel, and I wear it on my sleeve. I can't help it. Everything just comes spilling out.

Everything else in life just pisses me off and I can not help but feel that I am the most useless person on the planet, with whom the world might be better off without.

Yeah I could probably use a friend right now.