This is going to be rather long, and I thank you for reading it all.

Back story, I got upset about something little on Saturday. It wasn't a big deal but it was one of those boiling point situations. I freaked out and wouldn't go out to a family dinner with my family.

So two days have past and finally my step mom brought it up today when I went outside to get dinner. I finally told them most of what I have been dealing with, not how long or to what extent it goes, but it's a start I guess.

The thing is I know I should feel better now that it's out in the open, but I don't. I can't stop crying now and am super stressed out. I didn't want to put more stress on my father, I don't want to take more of his money. This isn't how I wanted to tell them and I'm freaking out right now. I'm beyond stressed out. I want to be stronger but I'm not. I'm scared about how the next few days are going to go now. The cats out of the bag and I can't put it away now. I just want to curl up into a ball and not see anyone. They were supportive, it's not like they weren't, but I just wasn't ready to tell my family. I Feel like when I told the first two people I told. Why couldn't I have just hid in my room and let it all blow over, the safe way. I just don't want people to look at me differently, they are going to now, they always do.....